fear is the enemy

Fear is the enemy
A vicious one that doesn't know when to quit
It always keeps on fighting
Squirming
And wiggling its way back in

So each time a scream escapes my mouth
It will always be there watching
Wringing its hands together with glee

Yet...

I never imagined fear would come
Like this.

In such a bizarre way
Such an ordinary way
It didn't come a creature
Or a thought

But it came as a box
With a blinking line
And missing words
A useless talk

I'm not scared of people
I'm just scared of speaking

A simple, ordinary task
An exchange of words
Sometimes good
Sometimes bad

Yet, as I stare at that box
There are no words
coming out

Because my hands are shaking
Feeling like icicles
And not because of the AC

My throat is so dry
Like some barren desert
And no drink will quench it

On the other side of the screen
is a person
who I'm desperate to speak to

But a simple "Hi" won't come out
Not even a letter
Just shakes and shudders
That aren't seen
On the other side of the computer screen

I wish I could wear that kitty hat
I wish my "Toeto" would be brave, too

But there's no hat
Nor a personification of my fear

There's just me
A keyboard
And a laptop

So, self :

Can you be brave, just this once?

I know I've said stupid things
But just forgive yourself
Not every conversation starts with a few stupid words
Or a few embarrassing mistakes

Just type, okay?

And, if that doesn't suffice
Then just speak up
Open your mouth
And talk to anyone.
Everyone!

But... just this once
Can we both be brave?
And keep stupid fear at bay?

Because, for once,
I don't want to be that shy kid
Who hides in a corner
And never talks.

So, can we be brave together?