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Thank you, good sir,
for ripping my heart out.

It was a trifle little thing, wasn't it?
You know no one needs
such an unnecessary object.

To feel nothing! What a wonderful thought!
We could become emotionless
We could become cardboard
How wonderful it would be!
To be a board, stiff and rigid,
Nothing would waver us
not even the wind

Immune to everything.
Every emotion
Every thought
Immune to it all.

The touch of someone's hand on your own
would be without emotion.
Just a sense.
Nothing more.

Does that sound nice?
It does, doesn't it?

All of the violence would be gone.
All of the sorrow would be wiped away.
Anger, sadness, fear
All gone.
Because of a trifle little

But with it...
that was gone, too.

Never again would we laugh
Nothing would be silly or stupid
No more goofiness, no more quirkiness

No more genuine smiles.
No more happy thoughts.
No more dreams or hopes.

a blank

"Doesn't that sound nice?" you say.

A nod.
Nothing more.

"It does sound nice," I say.
As I stare at the pulsating heart on the floor.
Blood stained.
Longing for more.

But, this is good
Isn't it, little heart?

There will be no more anger.
There will be no more sadness.
There will be no more fear.

But, with it...
Went the most precious things
that you
took away.

Everything that makes you smile.
Everything that makes you laugh.

It's all gone for you.

My heart skipping a beat when you look at me.
My heart screaming when you go, you see.

It's all gone for me.

Touching your hand will only be a sense
A sense unhindered by the burden
of emotion
and feeling

"That's what you wanted?"

i didn't


I... seriously don't understand how I can write about the pain of a break-up in a relationship when I've never even had a boyfriend. I don't get it. XD; Maybe it has to do with something else? :shrug:

Yup, cliche romance poem! ...I think. Sorry for being unoriginal! xD;
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Kaz-D Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
The sarcasm is great! And I know what you mean about being able to write something you've not experienced, I manage that alot of the time :nod:
Love this part:
It's all gone for you.

My heart skipping a beat when you look at me.
My heart screaming when you go, you see.

It's all gone for me.

Beautiful work!
mesatired Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2010   Photographer
I absolutely love this, the sarcasm, the idea, the formatting, it is all amazingly done. What I especially like is how you formatted the end of the poem, giving it a lot of space. I'm definitely faving this. :)
bones1925 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2010
Very well done. This is so sarcastic it's genius. I love how at the end when everything is said and done, the character regrets the decision.
Caity-Kitten Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2010   Writer
I love this. That mock humour almost bording manical. I loved what you did with teh formatting your line breaks and stanzas and everything else really added to teh overall feel of teh piece and really directed teh reader. I feel like this is easy to connect to, gets down to teh nitty gritty feelings but REALLY breaks teh cliches. It's not a sappy break-up poem thats been said and done. It's different its edgy, teh content is great and teh way you wrote it is greater. I'm not usually a fan of love and breakup poetry bu I really liked this. I think my favorite part was "Just... / a blank / wall" it really slwoed everything down, had us almost stop adn then get back into teh poem again, a bit of a mental break in a vertically lengthy poem (most of teh liens are short and teh spacing adds to it as well). Well done.
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Submitted on
April 6, 2010
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